I miss you.

Dear Bennett,

I really miss you today. I was around a lot of 1-2 year olds today and I was reminded of you so much. Even though you're so far away you're always on my mind. Your sister asks about you, you know... she doesn't really understand yet but she asks if you're okay and if you're doing well with your mommy and daddy. I love you both more than anything on this earth and every step in the positive right direction, I do it for you both. All that keeps flashing in my mind from emotion is, "I miss him so so much." I wish I could wake up everyday to your sweet smile and hear your precious laugh. I'm sorry.. for not being enough for you at the time, I'm sorry for the decision I made, even though I feel it was the best one I could have made at that time. I know, I know.. the BEST thing for a baby is to be with their mother... and I'm sorry.. I've been feeling very guilty recently, like I abandoned you... but I need you to know, I never ever intended that.. I know you're just a baby right now and you don't really know (or maybe you do, idk). But from what I know is you are a very very happy, loving, and bouncing baby.. and I am so happy that you are doing well. You mean so much to me, I love you.

<3 Mommy